tupacabra:

when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
ta-ble: wife of Souljaboy Tellem

idiotsonfb:

nerd humor.

chasingfictions:

arianne—martell:

Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.

(Source: galllagher)

thorhead:

thorhead:

I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that

  1. I can see them
  2. I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
  3. they are really bad singers and
  4. I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position

gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING TO MURDER HERE” AND THEY SCREAMED AND TRIED TO RUN AWAY AND ONE FELL OVER AND STARTED CRYING

(Source: thordoftherings)
earthandanimals: violentbaudelaire: ”This is my favorite photo in the world - me and Linus, born to a dairy cow and ordered to be killed when the farmer saw he was a male (and thus useless in the dairy industry). A compassionate individual intervened, and he was brought to a sanctuary. I met him when he was a few days old and 60 pounds, and he would always try to sit on my lap. Today, 7 years young and 1500 pounds, he still tries to sit on my lap.” - Colleen Patrick-Goudreau I freakin’ love this cow and this woman.

lizzlemcguizzle:

i take you to the candy shop